Dealing with disappointment.

After thinking for a long time weather to go or not and against the odds of my mother and wife, I finally decided to go on a trek to the Himalayas, although it was always there is some corner of my mind. I was introduced to this team by my ex-colleague and my all time crush, MN. I had been to the famous Kodachadri trek with this group. More about the group later, I promise. In the beginning, it felt like just another trip. As time went by, I gathered more information on the place and the excitement took another level. I even met the team after a long time and we went 'trek' shopping which kinda reassured me of my participation. I started telling my friends and relatives about it and their exclamation added to my excitement. The highlight is those two days before the event. Everything seemed so different - trees looked greener, girls looked prettier, food tasted even better and things like that, you know?!. The excitement was very much childlike. I could see the whole of my childhood flash through me in those days. I would never want to forget that feeling and incase I did, this blog would remind me always. They say, its the journey which is important and the destination. Who knew, God had other plans for us. The trek got cancelled due to bad weather and landslides just the day before. I had put a lot of thought and time on packing my rucksack, damn!. I sometimes feel the hesitation in making the decision to go on the trek is the reason for the disappointment, although I strongly believe that whatever happens, happens for good. MN and I had a word on the disppointment like professionals and decided to call it a day after which things fell into the routine and that we were into the same old game again. There's more to this disappointment which I'm considering not to consider.

I thought I should write about it not because of the disappointment I had to go through, but cause of the feeling I had through the days and especially the couple of days before the trek.

Oh, about the team, mmm, later.

The Chapman effect

Have been listening to a lot of Chapman numbers lately. Two things are always on my mind when I'm listening to her, El Pueblo and my all time favorite, sweeto. Also, quite conveniently they are related to each other too. The best thing about these songs are that I can recall that bit of my memory from the past.

I know we were very new to the town, looking for places to hang out. The attention of the people was on us, maybe because of how different we looked and dressed. We walked upto the corner, wondering either to go the right or the left. One of us saw the sign (El Pueblo) and told us we could try that. We all nodded in acceptance and headed towards it. We got into the bar with people staring at us, again. We quietly sat down and started looking around to get familiar with the place. We saw a lady with a violin, playing her music at one corner and we gave ourselves the its-a-good-place look. They all ordered for a beer (San Miguel) and they insisted me to have one too. That was my first time and I was not sure. For the love of the company, I ordered one too. Not paying much attention to the song, I was looking around the place and I heard people clap as the song came to an end. Then she announced the next song as "Give me one reason" by Tracy Chapman and I was like WOOHOO! I looked at them and they went woohoo too. Not sure if they knew who Tracy was. She played a couple of Chapman numbers before winding up and I felt so glad we chose that bar. That was the first date with the town and it was so new and refreshing.

I was very familiar with the Chapman songs, especially Talkin' Bout A Revolution, Fast Car, Give Me One Reason and Baby Can I Hold You. They are my favorite. The honor goes to sweeto. The Chapman songs are one of the spin-offs of knowing her. I could instantly connect with the songs and the joy of being close to sweeto made it even more sweeter. Too bad, good things dont last longer. Whenever I want to go back to that time, I simply listen to Chapman and go WOOHOO!

Beete Lamhe!

I can listen to this song like forever. This is one of those songs which hits the soul. I just came back from Russell Peters Live! show (wayhay!!) and it was a great show. There is a mixed feeling of excitement and nostalgia. Excitement of the show and nostalgia by the song. I couldnt even get a photograph of him performing, they wouldnt allow the camera and the guards were watching all the time, so you cannot even take a picture with your cell phone (argh!). All I have is the show ticket, which should do for a while. This song is like hypothetically scratching your heart, hard and slow, with just the index finger. I wonder why people always say heart and not mind, when it comes to feelings. I can only remember the absolutely awesome and sweet and mind blowing time I had in Manila, which is like the only sweetest of all the memories still green in my head. I'm so glad it happened to me and that it was such an awesome time that I spent with friends and that special one, that there is no match for it. The song makes perfect sense everytime I listen to it. It had been a long time since I heard this kind of a song which has opened my soul up again. Its so true that even though it was short, these memories are for life.

Oh yeah, my LCD monitor is screwed (no backlight) and I dont think I'll get a replacement.

Tremor!

I cant remember what day it was, but I can still feel the way I felt at that time and on that day (not exactly, but yes!). It was my first (maybe second!) earth quake experience. It was early in the morning (didn't seem like it though!) and almost an hour before winding up at work. I remember I was about to complete my monitoring targets and walk the floor for a while before getting off. I had kept my elbows on the desk and concentrating on the monitoring. I felt like someone was pulling me away from the desk and I couldnt help move back (they're called rolling chairs!). The force was strong. I turned back and saw no one as I kept on moving back. At that moment, I was shocked and I saw my colleague sitting 3 chairs apart moving too. Then, suddenly, all the empty chairs next to us started moving in directions and I stood up with fear (what the!). I removed the headset as I stood up and saw everyone standing up in panic. It happened in seconds. Suddenly, everything came to stand still and I could hear everyone talking to each other saying it was a mild tremor and was common. Everyone went back to work as though nothing had happened. That was my first conscious earthquake experience as I can still remember. We were on the 44th floor of Wynsum Corporate Plaza.

Oh! By the way, that was in Manila, in 2004.

Headache and Coffee!

Coffee seems to keep my headaches away, but, they also make my nights sleepless, which leaves me cranky and restless all day the next day (like today), which I think is a small price I pay for my awfully bad headaches. If I come to think of it, its not so bad to be awake the whole night. I get to go for a drive, watch fresh, beautiful faces, most importantly feel the fresh air that hits you in the face as soon as you get down from the car *takes a deep breath*. I can almost feel it. Oh yeah, I get to eat hot idlies from a very famous shop with breath-taking chutney. I think the idlies should be ready by this time. Off I go.

Through the thoughts.

I need to get a hair cut ASAP.

Oh yeah, I need to cut my nails too. They are long and filled with dirt.

I love it when I resolve something by logical thinking.

Why are managers so fucking dumb and incompetent?

I'm happy I'm in the right stream on the career front, after years of thinking and bad judgement.

I dont know what to wear to work tomorrow.

My cousin has taken my hard drive and I'm really missing some songs.

Planning a short trip to Mysore on Sunday, hoping it'll be a good one.

I hate mobiles phones, its an absolute pain in the obvious areas.

Top 10 on my playlist.

1. Timbaland - Apologize (Feat. One Republic) (3:04)

2. Missy Higgins - Where I Stood (4:17)

3. Daniel Bedingfield - If you're not the one (4:19)

4. Switchfoot - I Dare You To Move (4:11)

5. Jim Brickman & Tara MacLean - You (4:09)

6. Lifehouse - Broken (4:46)

7. The Fray - Look After You (4:28)

8. Front Line Assembly - Vanished (6:25)

9. Varano - Dead End Street (Radio Edit) (4:00)

10. John Mayer Trio - Gravity (5:49)