One advantage of being insomniac, is, nothing. You cant help thinking about some of them closest to you when you're alone or lonely. Some songs you listen to, some situations you witness or
some things you watch on TV can take you back in time. Its manily the songs for me. When it all started a few years back, it was all jealously and possesiveness. Although nothing could ever
happen between us, I was not ready to accept it. Always thought she liked me back the way I liked her. Suppose I was too narrow minded to think otherwise. It was all a matter of acceptance. My feeling never changed and it got even more intense after meeting her, all in flesh and blood. I should say, the mere existence of her made Manila the sweetest and the most beautiful place on the face of earth. I carry with me a wealth of sweetest of all the memories.
Yes, I'm still not over her and I dont think I ever will be. In the beginning, this same feeling used to hurt me, but, now, it fills my emptiness with confort and sweetness. I dont know why! Everywhere I go and everything I do, there's always a song that reminds me of her and even though I am strong, it just feels better and better to lose myself to the feeling. I have put her through a lot of torture, which I regret to this day. I can only hope that she'd understand I was only being a kid. The things she said has made me a better man and given me a whole new perspective. She has no idea of the difference she has brought to my life. I owe her big time for whatever I am today. Yes, its all true. Without her, I would never know the meaning of love.
I can keep spilling my heart out, sometimes, without making sense too.
I wish her (wherever she is) ALL the happiness in the world. Hope she forgives me for all the kiddish behaviour and for any other crime I may have committed. The last time I saw her online
was in August and she was preparing for USMLE. I'm so sure she's gonna rock. Its her thing. Yes, it hurts like hell not to be with her, but, hey, look at the brighter side. Yeah, keep looking ;-)
Havent SMSd/called her in a long time. Guess, I'll stalk her after her exams *evil grin*. I just hope to see her one more time in my lifetime, doesnt matter when.
